Blocks to Success- How to get to the other side

blocks to success

You have dreams and goals; I have dreams and goals. How do we get to the other side? It’s simple but it is not easy. Compassion…Gratitude…Persistence. Remember those 3 words and we will come back to them.  For now let’s explore our blocks to success.

You have been given a life and the tools are all within you. If we are now told there is no matter and everything is energy, find yours. Dig deep. People say to start with your why. I believe this is important but it is not deep enough. Start with your feelings. Feel them, accept your humanity; you are not perfect. What are your feelings and where are you on the spectrum of your life? Is it failure – loneliness – regret – sadness? Feel them, embrace them, but don’t let them allow you to miss your life.

There is something out there with your name on it but it starts inside you. What an irony! You hold all that power and yet you feel powerless. Find the key, find your sweet spot. What will create urgency for you? What will enable you to feel the energy of the gift of life. Notice I did not say “the gift of life” – I said the “energy” of the gift of life. It has come to me that again – that energy is within you. Recently I heard messages from great leaders and speakers that have sparked my energy and led me to a passion today to write about what I believe is the key to your sweet spot and mine. There are some very big “energy consumers” and if we face them head on we can get to the other side and overcome our blocks to success.

TIME – Everyone has the same time. We have the same uncertainty and we could all be gone tomorrow. Whether you are 2 or 20 or 50 or 80 – today is ours to package and to create pockets of time. It is up to us to take away things that don’t serve our dreams and to pencil in time for what we need and must do to aspire to our potential.

POTENTIAL – Ah!! Now we are told that we only reach 1% of our potential (they used to say 10%). I cannot believe, as I read about him, that Terry Fox, the incredible hero who gave over his last few years on this earth to run a marathon a day with one leg, and leave a legacy that raised to date 38 times his goal ($1 for every Canadian) and now has people all over the world running on his behalf every year in love and community some 40 years later, did not reach his potential! Now that is an “energy creator” that surely came close to his potential and his personal best.

LIMITATIONS -The zappers of our energy are inside and not real – actually they are as real as we allow them to be. They are our feelings and they hold us back and take up enormous amounts of our time and limit our potential. Are you ready for the BIG ONE?

FORGIVENESS – There can be no forgiveness and no need for forgiveness without judgement. YES – me judging another and then thinking or processing if and when I will forgive another. “I am not my brother’s keeper” but I am always responsible for me – my thoughts and my actions. Sometimes the pain of separation causes us to seek solutions – to try to repair a relationship – to force a new start. What if we focus on ourselves and our well-being and our goals and dreams; what if we let go of being the “fixer” and the solution for anything outside us! Ask the Universe to give you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference. Remove your blocks to success with the Serenity Prayer.

grant me the serenity

SERENITY – Think about why that “Serenity Prayer” is the mantra and mission statement for Alcoholics Anonymous. Consider the path of those who have found AA and the number of people they have hurt and who have hurt them! They have created a pact in the community of the fellowship of AA to go within to change the things they can; they know it will not serve them to judge others, feel failure and hold on to regret. They realize that they will likely not stay sober unless they embrace that life changing internal power of forgiveness of self and others to heal their heart and remove their blocks to success.

My Dad gave me the legacy of the meaning of the Serenity Prayer after he spent 33 years in AA helping himself and hundreds of others. We had so much fun together and shared so many wonderful moments of joy and laughter.  We also shared deep, inspiring, meaningful memories.

I never remember seeing my Dad drinking but I remember as a young daughter in my early teens before AA that sometimes my Dad would create an invisible wall between him and those he loved. He would retreat to his desk in his room and not come down to dinner and not respond to anything I wanted to share with him. I recall thinking that if I were to behave like that my Mom would not have stood for it and would have told me to snap out of it. We all learned to get on with our day, our week and our life; I came to understand the phrase, “the mask of depression”. I learned to accept then and now, that people are not born wanting to hurt others and that something I don’t understand must shift in their brain, especially if it feels as if they have chosen to upset me. But, hey, we don’t have to be at that party. We can go down another street.

This amazing poem says so much in such a simple way. I found out Portia Nelson wrote this when she was asked to describe her life in 5 short chapters and it had a profound impact on me. I think in a way it is “everyone’s story” and sadly some never get to chapter 5. I share it with you now.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

By Portia Nelson

Chapter I

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost…I am hopeless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

 I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place.

But it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it there.

I still fall in…it’s a habit…but,

my eyes are open. I know where I am.

It is my fault.

 I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

LOVEABILITY – Dr Robert Holden took me on an unexpected journey when he spoke about the elasticity of our brain and why we need to follow our joy. Then I listened to an interview with Jane Fonda, in her seventies, and she said we would have to “love” Trump; this was not a phrase one would expect from many women and especially not from such a strong political activist like her. Then she went on to say that if we don’t foster love throughout the world we are doomed and we have succumbed to “their” choices to create fear and disrespect. Wonderfully she clarified that we don’t have to like “these people” and we are still the winners. We can hold fast to our values and free ourselves of the “energy consumers” within ourselves by not “feeling the judgement;” we can choose to “be the change” and to set others free as well.

So now we come back to the three words I started with:


As long as I can feel compassion for every living thing I am free of judging – which is clearly an “energy consumer.” Thus I have removed this block to success.

If I am grateful every day for who I am and what I have been given, whatever “they” say, and are and have is of no concern to me.  I become an “energy creator” and create a stepping stone to my success.

If I persist in my goals and dreams, free of the “energy consumers”, I will perhaps get to that 1% of my potential.

What have you done recently to move you closer to reaching your 1% potential? How are you doing with your blocks to success? Share how you empowered yourself to become an “energy creator” for it is in sharing that we empower each other!

blocks to success

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