Blocks to Success- How to get to the other side

blocks to success

You have dreams and goals; I have dreams and goals. How do we get to the other side? It’s simple but it is not easy. Compassion…Gratitude…Persistence. Remember those 3 words and we will come back to them.  For now let’s explore our blocks to success.

You have been given a life and the tools are all within you. If we are now told there is no matter and everything is energy, find yours. Dig deep. People say to start with your why. I believe this is important but it is not deep enough. Start with your feelings. Feel them, accept your humanity; you are not perfect. What are your feelings and where are you on the spectrum of your life? Is it failure – loneliness – regret – sadness? Feel them, embrace them, but don’t let them allow you to miss your life.

There is something out there with your name on it but it starts inside you. What an irony! You hold all that power and yet you feel powerless. Find the key, find your sweet spot. What will create urgency for you? What will enable you to feel the energy of the gift of life. Notice I did not say “the gift of life” – I said the “energy” of the gift of life. It has come to me that again – that energy is within you. Recently I heard messages from great leaders and speakers that have sparked my energy and led me to a passion today to write about what I believe is the key to your sweet spot and mine. There are some very big “energy consumers” and if we face them head on we can get to the other side and overcome our blocks to success.

TIME – Everyone has the same time. We have the same uncertainty and we could all be gone tomorrow. Whether you are 2 or 20 or 50 or 80 – today is ours to package and to create pockets of time. It is up to us to take away things that don’t serve our dreams and to pencil in time for what we need and must do to aspire to our potential.

POTENTIAL – Ah!! Now we are told that we only reach 1% of our potential (they used to say 10%). I cannot believe, as I read about him, that Terry Fox, the incredible hero who gave over his last few years on this earth to run a marathon a day with one leg, and leave a legacy that raised to date 38 times his goal ($1 for every Canadian) and now has people all over the world running on his behalf every year in love and community some 40 years later, did not reach his potential! Now that is an “energy creator” that surely came close to his potential and his personal best.

LIMITATIONS -The zappers of our energy are inside and not real – actually they are as real as we allow them to be. They are our feelings and they hold us back and take up enormous amounts of our time and limit our potential. Are you ready for the BIG ONE?

FORGIVENESS – There can be no forgiveness and no need for forgiveness without judgement. YES – me judging another and then thinking or processing if and when I will forgive another. “I am not my brother’s keeper” but I am always responsible for me – my thoughts and my actions. Sometimes the pain of separation causes us to seek solutions – to try to repair a relationship – to force a new start. What if we focus on ourselves and our well-being and our goals and dreams; what if we let go of being the “fixer” and the solution for anything outside us! Ask the Universe to give you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference. Remove your blocks to success with the Serenity Prayer.

grant me the serenity

SERENITY – Think about why that “Serenity Prayer” is the mantra and mission statement for Alcoholics Anonymous. Consider the path of those who have found AA and the number of people they have hurt and who have hurt them! They have created a pact in the community of the fellowship of AA to go within to change the things they can; they know it will not serve them to judge others, feel failure and hold on to regret. They realize that they will likely not stay sober unless they embrace that life changing internal power of forgiveness of self and others to heal their heart and remove their blocks to success.

My Dad gave me the legacy of the meaning of the Serenity Prayer after he spent 33 years in AA helping himself and hundreds of others. We had so much fun together and shared so many wonderful moments of joy and laughter.  We also shared deep, inspiring, meaningful memories.

I never remember seeing my Dad drinking but I remember as a young daughter in my early teens before AA that sometimes my Dad would create an invisible wall between him and those he loved. He would retreat to his desk in his room and not come down to dinner and not respond to anything I wanted to share with him. I recall thinking that if I were to behave like that my Mom would not have stood for it and would have told me to snap out of it. We all learned to get on with our day, our week and our life; I came to understand the phrase, “the mask of depression”. I learned to accept then and now, that people are not born wanting to hurt others and that something I don’t understand must shift in their brain, especially if it feels as if they have chosen to upset me. But, hey, we don’t have to be at that party. We can go down another street.

This amazing poem says so much in such a simple way. I found out Portia Nelson wrote this when she was asked to describe her life in 5 short chapters and it had a profound impact on me. I think in a way it is “everyone’s story” and sadly some never get to chapter 5. I share it with you now.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

By Portia Nelson

Chapter I

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost…I am hopeless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

 I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place.

But it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it there.

I still fall in…it’s a habit…but,

my eyes are open. I know where I am.

It is my fault.

 I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

LOVEABILITY – Dr Robert Holden took me on an unexpected journey when he spoke about the elasticity of our brain and why we need to follow our joy. Then I listened to an interview with Jane Fonda, in her seventies, and she said we would have to “love” Trump; this was not a phrase one would expect from many women and especially not from such a strong political activist like her. Then she went on to say that if we don’t foster love throughout the world we are doomed and we have succumbed to “their” choices to create fear and disrespect. Wonderfully she clarified that we don’t have to like “these people” and we are still the winners. We can hold fast to our values and free ourselves of the “energy consumers” within ourselves by not “feeling the judgement;” we can choose to “be the change” and to set others free as well.

So now we come back to the three words I started with:


As long as I can feel compassion for every living thing I am free of judging – which is clearly an “energy consumer.” Thus I have removed this block to success.

If I am grateful every day for who I am and what I have been given, whatever “they” say, and are and have is of no concern to me.  I become an “energy creator” and create a stepping stone to my success.

If I persist in my goals and dreams, free of the “energy consumers”, I will perhaps get to that 1% of my potential.

What have you done recently to move you closer to reaching your 1% potential? How are you doing with your blocks to success? Share how you empowered yourself to become an “energy creator” for it is in sharing that we empower each other!

blocks to success

4 Step Game Plan for a Full Life

finding possibiities

Recreating YOU with a 4 Step Game Plan

Do you have a step by step game plan for a full life?

I came up with a 4-step game plan to guide my life. Perhaps it will serve you as well. The acronym is SPTL! Show up every day even when it is tempting to sit one out, pay attention to the details by focusing on possibilities, trust the process without questioning or having all the answers even when progress feels slow, let go of the delivery details and the “how soon” and “when” pieces of the puzzle will fall into place. Let’s take a minute to break this down.

Recreating You Step 1Show up: Think of a time when you reluctantly showed up and it was beyond what you could have imagined. Years ago I was sitting in my car, drinking in the beauty of the ocean to find some inner peace, and talking on my cell phone to my sister clear across the country. That was in the day when a one-hour long distance conversation cost $50.00! As we went to say good bye my sister said, “Promise me you will keep your phone on.” I did make that promise, even though I wanted to run away and hide in my sadness and lost faith. My phone was on a call forward from my office and within an hour I received a “life changing phone call” that began the best eight years of my career, in terms of complete fulfillment. Had I not answered that offer might have gone to someone else who decided to be available and show up!

Recently I heard an interesting story from a renowned presenter with a 10-year success history of filling a room. He said that they always booked twice the number of people that the fire code allowed in the room and they knew only 50% of the people would show up. The tickets were free but the presentation had tremendous value and was the introduction of a great 3-day program to change their future. The speaker went on to say that in ten years they had never had to turn anyone away. It was a proven benchmark that one out of two people will not follow through on their own plan and show up – even when it is free. Hence the phrase “80% of Success is Showing Up.”

Promise yourself that you will not lose by default; that you will show up every day on the path to recreating you.

Recreating You Step 2 – Pay attention: How often in life do we go through the day on auto pilot? Today with so many distractions of emails, text messages, Facebook, Instagram etc. how often are we fully present for our own life? Everyday there is the unexpected: people we meet, things we hear, news that no one anticipated. It could be a former co-worker who previously only knew you in one position that comes to you after the company you both worked in closes their doors. She could say, “I saw a job posting I think you would be good at, you should apply.” You could say to yourself, “how would she know?” or “I have never done anything like that before” or “why would they hire me with no experience in that field?” Or you could pay attention and apply for the job anyway.

Maybe there is a bigger reason we both met, maybe she sees something in me I don’t even see in myself, maybe the angels sent her…who knows, but I paid attention. Who or what is trying to get your attention to recreating you?

Recreating You Step 3 – Trust the process: Think of a time when you were on a path and things didn’t seem to be working out. You might go two steps forward and one step back. You were losing confidence and faith and starting to think that maybe the stars were never going to line up for you and maybe your life just wasn’t going to come together no matter how hard you were trying.

You were interviewed for a job, they liked you a lot, you were their second choice, but the person who got hired had a “Master’s Degree” and you did not. And then the Universe had another plan. It became part of a great story in the Career Program! The clients never knew you were talking about yourself. The person with the Master’s Degree showed her true colours in the first few days on the job. They had reconsidered the wisdom of their first decision and were now calling to offer you the job! “Were you still interested?! “

When we trust the process and don’t try to control the outcome or ask why, amazing things evolve in our lives; later we see that everything was happening in due time. Recreating you is a process.

Recreating You Step 4 – Let go of the delivery details: How often do we believe that we know best, somewhat like a child that barters with their parent? We know what we need and when. Why is it taking so long? You need things to come together now! This is perhaps the hardest part of this 4-step game plan to recreating you.

Can you let go of the delivery details? This takes trusting the process to a whole new level of belief. Trust grows when you can look back on a time when you had to let go of the delivery details. Think of a time when things might have looked like they simply could not work out and the ending might not be manageable in any way – and then things did work out in a way you could not have imagined. It is important not to write our own endings even before they happen.

How can you develop that trust and let go of the delivery details to allow the Universe to help you find the ways to recreating you?

Have you pieced together this story? She showed up and answered the phone, she paid attention to the co-worker and applied for a job she never would have on her own without the encouragement of her friend, she trusted the process of the delay in being hired, and she let go of the delivery details. In the end she didn’t need the Master’s Degree and her friend was right, she was perfect for the job without it.

Plan to be surprised on the path to recreating you!

Good luck with this simple 4-step game plan – SPTL. Start it today and see what unexpected things happen in your journey to recreating you!

Send me your successes for it is in sharing that we empower each other!

taking chances

Recreating YOU with Transforming New Year’s Gratefuls & 12 Days of Christmas

Recreating YOU with Transforming New Year’s Gratefuls
over 12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas I was grateful for PEACE; the kind that comes when you know you have done your best and somehow it wasn’t good enough. The results aren’t there. What if this time they won’t ever be there? You don’t know if you have it in you to try again tomorrow but then you remember the part in the beautiful poem your dear friend sent: “Help me to know the restoring power of sleep.” Sleep comes; peace comes, tomorrow comes. It’s a new day and you are able to repeat the process until finally one day the results do come and with it a new kind of peace you own.

On the second day of Christmas I was grateful for COURAGE; the kind you need when you know it’s time to go back to the doctor. You believe in your deepest self the results will be scary; but you have been down this road before. Things can be fixed, reversed, overcome, with great medicine. You can go and find out what needs to be done and you can get yourself back to a healthy state. You do have the courage to go again and deal with what needs to be done.

On the third day of Christmas I was grateful for LAUGHTER – with SISTERS who have always been a catalyst to set you off in crazy verbal jargon that caused you both to laugh again like ten year olds in the midst of serious adult crises: at funerals, sharing the most bizarre of life’s turn of events and finding a way to laugh in hour long phone calls thousands of miles apart or in person.

On the fourth day of Christmas I was grateful for BROTHERS, who by contrast to you, in just a few words or a small gesture, can leave memories on your heart and you are never ever the same because of the beauty and the power in their depth and simplicity.

On the fifth day of Christmas I was grateful for FRIENDS. Friends that you never knew yesterday and those you have known forever and those who have left you here in the world without them, far too soon and sometimes with no warning that the lunch you had just a few weeks ago was going to be your last lunch. Oh my, these friends are such gifts! Their genuine, steadfast, authentic caring and support has sometimes been the difference on a day that presented a mountain you had no way of climbing and then you reach the top together.

On the sixth of Christmas I was grateful for DOCTORS who find a way to say what needs to be said, to be honest in the gentlest possible way and who realize you have a right to know what they know about you – it’s your life. They tell you only one in 4 survive, that people can die from this, that you will need radical surgery on your face – and then they take the action, however overwhelmingly drastic as may be required; they apply their skills and knowledge and they empower you to find a way to trust them and believe that together you will find a way back to good health and you will be that one in 4, this is not your time.

On the seventh day of Christmas I was grateful for the UNKNOWN – scary, uncertain sometimes, generating feelings of hopelessness – when all you can see and feel are the failures and losses, when it seems void of all possibilities of any retrieval of success and financial stability. But deep within you know that the unknown equals the very faith that brought you this far; the unknown holds the unimaginable of all the hope and possibilities that the best is yet to come. You’ve lived the unknown before, you know it to be true, and it is all there waiting for you in the unknown.

On the eighth day of Christmas I was grateful for SECOND CHANCES. When you are absorbed with one “if only” thought after another; you are consumed with regret, you blame yourself, you remember how you could have acted sooner, said it differently, made that phone call on their birthday, told them you were sorry sooner, forgiven them when they didn’t even know they needed to be forgiven, and here it is – the moment to make yesterday right and tomorrow beautiful. You get a second chance and this time you recognize it in the moment – you act quickly.

On the ninth day of Christmas I was grateful for CHILDREN – the young ones that help you continue to see the magic in the world through their innocent eyes; but most of all for MY OWN CHILDREN. They keep you humble and grow your wisdom and insight through their honesty, integrity, joys and sorrows; when you want to be like the fairy godmother who can wave a magic wand and make their world abundant and free of the anguish of life’s sometimes cruel realities. Your children remind you all you can do is love them and let them go and trust in the goodness of the Universe.

On the tenth day of Christmas I was grateful for INSTINCT – the kind that finds a way to reach you at the strangest times, to let you know “something is wrong” and you need to take action, or something could happen if you just make that phone call, go to that meeting, buy that book and read it, take that course. It is when you find yourself saying, “I don’t know why, something just told me I should”; you found a way to trust your instinct. It takes quiet, still meditative moments in the stillness and solitude of your thoughts so you can be listening and your instincts can be heard.

On the eleventh day of Christmas I was grateful for TIME – lost time, found time, stolen time and learning to value time as your best way to package your dreams. Name the designated exact time and day you will strive to make something happen. Take the time to write it down in a calendar, a journal, on a napkin; give your vision a time and a place. The value of time holds the secret to your success, your vision, and your dreams, – it is in the time.

On the twelfth day of Christmas I was grateful for SIMPLICITY. Over a hundred ornaments taking up space, books on shelves that will never be read, clothes from decades ago that will never be worn again, hundreds of cards, calendars and pictures, too many to ever look at and appreciate, decorations for every occasion of the year and no space to even display them, pictures and not enough walls to hang them, furniture intended for three to four times the square footage you now live in, papers you have filed for literally years, way beyond the government 7 year guidelines for businesses that could all be shredded and never missed! How do we get to that simple life and create the space to enjoy life and become all we were intended to be, without the clutter and confusion and overwhelm of all this stuff? One day it comes to us, we have the power, the time is now and these things need a new home. You find the courage and the time and the support from family and friends; you begin the journey back to a simplicity that creates the space you need to make the rest of your life the best of your life and that to be sure is an Olympic goal of massive proportions! Go for the Gold! It is not too late; you are still breathing, make it this New Years!

You can recreate the most magical you at any age, at any moment. It is a choice – YOU choose. Jumpstart 2017 with your own gratefuls!

Send me your successes for it is in sharing that we empower each other!

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